Family problems…

The Indian man said to the American: “We have problem in India . We can’t marry the one whom we love. You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely and domesticated girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I don’t want to marry a woman who I don’t love. I told my parents that openly and now have a hell of a lot of family problems.”

“Talking about love marriages, in America we can marry the one we love. The American said: Let me tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated her for three years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father’s father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father’s brother and so he is my uncle. The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father’s son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems?”

The Indian fainted.

When drinking with the boss, you must drink less than him,

and when drinking with the boss, you must drink less than him, but you must pretend to be more drunk than him, so as to show that he is a good drinker; but with the boss When eating together, you must eat more than him, so that you can see who is the idiot.

There are three ABC prisoners who are about to be executed by shooting. The warden wants to ask them what last wish they can fulfill? Besides asking for their release…… A said without hesitation: I want a bulletproof vest Warden: Yes, the warden shot him in the head B thought for a while and said: I want a bulletproof helmet and a bulletproof vest Warden: Of course no problem The warden hanged B C thought Let me say: I want to see my grandson Warden: But isn’t your child married yet? C said: It’s okay, I can wait!

Several men want to start a joint venture company. “ability”! “Hmm! “Ability Company” sounds so domineering!” So everyone happily applied for and got back the business license. After getting it back, everyone was dumbfounded, only to see the big words on the license

… “Limited Ability” company”

best joke. Signs of the time in China

Today’s top ten popular jokes in China 1. A certain governor was imprisoned for corruption, his son graduated from university, couldn’t find a job, and complained when he visited the prison. Dad wrote a note asking his son to ask his former subordinates for help. The son asked: Is it useful to write a note now that the tea is cold? Dad said: When I was on the stage, I let whoever I wanted to be an official. Now, I am in prison, and whoever I want to come in, I have to come in. Don’t worry, son, my note is still valid!

2. Experts say: The United States attacked Iraq and Libya for oil; according to this theory: the United States fought in
Vietnam for bananas
; Vodka;
beat Germany for beer; beat Japan for rice balls;
if one day beat China, it must be for joining the party.

3. The NPC and CPPCC amended the new Marriage Law, and the typist was negligent, making monogamy into monogamy for one day.
During the deliberation of the National People’s Congress, it was generally reflected: This article is well improved and keeps pace with the times!
Representative A: It is good, but I am afraid that the supply of goods will not be guaranteed;
Representative B: It is good, but I am afraid that time is running out;
Female representative: It is good, but I am afraid that the male compatriots will not be able to bear it;
Representative of the legal profession: It is good, that is The father of the child is hard to find!

4. I went to the noodle shop and asked for a bowl of beef noodles, but I didn’t see a piece of beef when the noodles came.
I was so angry that I called the boss, why is there no beef in the beef noodles?
The boss said indifferently: “Don’t take the name seriously. Do you still expect to find your wife from the wife’s cake?
When did you see people sitting in the Great Hall of the People? Believe it or not, anyway, I believe it.”

5. The long-term treatment of official corruption is ineffective. I have a plan to “use all eunuchs” with three strong reasons:
1. It can put an end to sex scandals and completely reverse the image of officials.
2.. It can eradicate the “second generation of officials” and avoid oppressing the common people.
3. It can reduce the number of people who want to be officials, and fundamentally change the crowded officialdom.

6. God arranges pigs to plow the land, but pigs feel tired; God arranges pigs to water flowers, but pigs feel that they are not free; God arranges pigs to guard the gate, but pigs feel that they cannot get rest; God is angry and asks pigs
: “Then what do you want to do?”
Said: “Eat, drink, prostitute, and gamble, do everything.”
God was even more angry and said: “You also want to be a country-family-cadre-department!!!”

7. Teacher Wang was out on vacation. A hundred dollars was placed on the table in the living room and a note was left for the thief:
Don’t worry, I can’t find any money in our family, so I’ll give you this hundred dollars for pocket money.
The house next door belongs to the Ministry of Railways. They are rich and dare not report the crime.
When he came back from vacation, Boss Wang found that the money on the table had become 200,000!
On the back of the note he left for the thief, it said: Please accept the information fee for you!

8. When a group of robbers in Guangdong robbed a bank, they said: “Don’t move anything, the money belongs to the country, and your life belongs to you!”
Everyone lay down without saying a word. The robbers quickly bagged the money, and one of the new master robbers said,
boss, let’s quickly count how much we robbed, and the old robber said, are you stupid? So many, how long
do you want to count? Don’t you know it by watching the news tonight?
In the evening news, a certain bank was robbed by robbers and 100 million was robbed.
The robber boss said: Super Nima! Labor and management worked hard to earn 20 million! The president of the bank earned 80 million with just a flick of his finger!

9. When an American travels to China, exchange 200,000 US dollars for 1.34 million RMB, 1 million to buy a single apartment, and 340,000 to eat, drink and play for a year.
I will go back in the next year, the house has been sold for 2 million yuan, the RMB has appreciated to 1:5 against the US dollar, and the 2 million yuan has been exchanged for 400,000 US dollars.
Americans earn $200,000 a year playing in China for nothing, and go home happily! The Bureau of Statistics is also very happy, because the GDP has increased!

10. The gate of heaven is broken, and God wants to invite tenders to rebuild it.
The Indians said: 3,000 yuan will do it, the reason is that the material cost is 1,000, the labor cost is 1,000, and I earn 1,000 by myself.
A German said: It costs 6,000 yuan, 2,000 for materials, 2,000 for labor, and 2,000 for yourself.
Finally, the Chinese said calmly: This one costs 9,000 yuan, 3,000 for you, 3,000 for mine, and the remaining 3,000 for that Indian.
God is amazed, okay, I will do it for you!